I Wonder

Sometimes life is tough

2011-03-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

But when you think about it, it beats the alternative.

Sorry to have abandoned my blog, but I have been very distracted. I am still raising the best beef I can, and still hoping to someday get paid for the extra effort. Why haven't the anti-trust laws applied to the giant international agriculture companies? I will never know the consumers as long as the 4 big packers continue to keep the retail business.

I'm back!

2010-02-05T09:56:00.000-08:00

It is amazing to me that it has been so long since I have been to my own blog. Time flies faster every year. The MS makes it such that if a thing isn't in front of me, it never existed. I do remember things, I think, but my brain has lost the "table of contents" to where those memories are stored. Please try to relate.

The good Lord has continued to pour blessings on me, his undeserving child. I am so very thankful. I do hope he blesses you, dear reader, through some of the words in this blog. Joe

Still praying St. Theresa's Prayer

2008-09-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

Isn't it amazing how God works through words?

St. Theresa's Prayer

2008-01-29T20:09:00.001-08:00

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be confident knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

A Super Mom on the Supernatural Mom

2007-12-13T20:47:00.000-08:00

This is something my brother found. Apparently Mom still had time to write articles for Catholic magazines back then (around 1958). Born on the Feast of the Visitation, died on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

A simple yet beautiful article.

A Mother Speaks of True Devotion to Mary
by Madelaine Bush

St. Louis tells us that as we have a natural mother and father, so we have our spiritual father in God, and our spiritual mother in Mary. But some of us, especially we busy parents, have a tendency to keep our spiritual life and thoughts separate from our natural, occupied and distracted lives. Today I will bring to you a few suggestions as to 1) The necessity for bringing Mary, our mother, into our natural, busy everyday lives -- and 2) How to achieve this.

Since I am keeping the sphere of Mary in family life I would like to begin with the child.
1) Why is it necessary to bring Mary into the natural life our children?
I am presupposing that we all teach our children about the spiritual part of the Mother of God. That she is the Mother of God. And that as such, she deserves our love and devotion. But let's take her from her heavenly home and put her into our home.
Doctors, as well as our own common sense, tell us that to make a child happy and healthy, we should give that child love and security. Mary can do this better than we. And remember, should we be separated from our children because of wars, ill-health, or even death, if we teach them that Mary is their true mother, and to love her as such, then they continue to have security in their mother, whom they are familiar with and love, and who can never be taken from them. As as illustration: a young mother when holding her small child can caress it tenderly and say "Mother loves you very much, and with all her heart - almost as much as Mary does - Mary's heart is bigger than mother's and holds more love!" So often when one of my boys fails to mind me, I ask -"Please then, do it for Mary - offer it to her," and he will. Little ones are very wise for their years. One day I was bathing a young son who was then about three or four years old. I had donned a pretty, long blue robe. My child complimented me, saying how pretty I looked, just like Mary. Here is another example of how a mother can share her responsibility with Mary. I have often told the children that Mary is their mother as well as I. One day not long ago, a little one said, "Mother, you know you are our stepmother!" I was shocked for the moment and hurried to assure him. "Oh, no, I'm your real mother." "No," he said. "Mary is our real mother - you are just our stepmother who takes care of us until we get up to heaven." I'm sure all of us would be very happy to take a back seat like that for Mary.

I have tried, and am still trying, to make Mary a part of their life, a vital part as the air they breathe. Not just a devotion to be put on with their Sunday clothes -- and taken off when they go out to play. I don't want them to associate Mary with just the rosary, or with Fatima or Lourdes - as wonderful as these are, not with just any one form of devotion or apparition. No -- first to know and trust her as their mother, love her with their heart -- then they can discover the other wonderful facts of Mary.
I have attempted to show you the necessity of giving the child to Mary -- to increase the love and security in his life, and to make the job easier for the parent.
2) Another reason for the necessity of bringing Mary so completely into the child's life is that, in this pagan age with the devil and all evil, demoralizing forces at work, we need to give to the girls an ideal to follow, and the boys, the perfect picture of womanhood to uphold. Where else can we find this in the world today -- only in Mary, and in the mothers and daughters who through Mary strive with the grace which comes through her hands, to become more Mary-like in all they do.
How can this be done? Let's look at this in a positive way. There are too many points on the negative side that I am sure we are all aware of. But what can we do? First, mothers, look to ourselves -- do we set a Mary-like example in dress? We can dress "smart" and be modest. The best dressed women chosen each year are usually those conspicuous because they are dressed not under-dressed or undressed. In teaching our daughters to choose their own clothes they must be made aware that their choice is important not only in good taste and good fashion, but most of all in the effect upon young men. Will the dress be an occasion of sin? or an occasion of true admiration?
3) What are our actions around the home? Do we set good example for our children by consistently trying to do all things in a Mary-like way? Not just the sweeping, cooking, etc., but by our control? Do we at all times keep control of the situation -- with self-control? Or are we too often screaming at our children in anger and impatience? Don't get discouraged and some day Mary will help us achieve our goal. Here is a small example of this point. One birthday my husband gave me a lovely bracelet that had a heavy gold medal of Mary attached to it. I was so fond of this bracelet that I often wore it even while doing housework. One day, I lost my patience with one of my little ones, and as I raise my hand to strike him the medal hit the back of my hand. Mary was slapping my hand as if to say "No, no, keep your patience." I have found, too, that complete honesty helps with the children. Sometimes after a particularly hard day, I gather the boys around me and ask, "This hasn't been a very good day, has it?"
They will be quick to agree it has not! Then I will confess,"Children, I am sorry that I was so impatient and did not act as Mary would have me act. But you must always help me, and had you all minded, and acted as Jesus and Mary wanted you to, then it would have been a much better day. Let us all try tomorrow to do and be as They would have us to do and be, and then we will have a very nice day." Then we kneel before our altar, and say our night prayers. Even the very young children seem to understand this, and think more of their natural mother, even when she fails them (in her weakness) and much more of their supernatural mother, who never fails them when they sincerely seek out her help.
4) Around home, do we show the same respect for our husband-father that Mary did for Joseph? This is so important today -- for in the home respect for authority is the great beginning for your children. Let me try to make myself clear. Children should respect you, not only because you are their parents and have authority over them but because that authority comes from God. In respecting and loving their parents, they are respecting and loving God. Every time we allow ourselves to be talked back to, we are allowing the child to lay the seeds of juvenile delinquency. Delinquency of what? Delinquency of all respect -- respect for authority -- respect for law -- respect for the rights of others. So look to your husband, as Mary did to Joseph, thereby setting good example for your children, and demand and gain the respect of your children for yourself, because God did give you the authority over them -- and the home is where they must learn this lesson of respect --or we fail them and God! One word here to fathers: by example is the way to teach your son the, I'm sorry to say, old-fashioned respect for women. Opening the car doors -- allowing her to walk before you -- pulling out the chair at dinner -- listening to her when she speaks (to mention just a few). Boys do what they will see and hear their fathers do. But remember mothers you have to expect it --- to get it. Let's, as women, find our true Christian place in the world -- the place that God intended for us. Mary, never for one minute, considered herself the head of the family. She, the Mother of God, looked to Joseph for protection, while she quietly attended to the Child and their home. Let us, women of today, follow her example.
5) Another thing that would come under activity in the home yet deserves a separate grouping of its own, is that activity of the tongue. When I asked my husband, one day, to give me his opinion on an important example that a mother could give her children in Mary-like living -- he said, "Charity of the tongue. Don't set the children a bad example by gossiping." How true. This could be developed but let us just stop and think about it. If parents make a rule never to say an unkind thing about anyone in front of the children -- what a wonderful example they would be giving them! Charity truly begins at home -- and there are far too many points to try and bring all of them to your attention at this time. The suggestions that have been made are only a few positive ways of bringing Mary into the home, and to your family, with Mary-like thoughts and actions.
6)On the spiritual side, there are a few suggestions that might be helpful in bringing Mary from her heavenly home to our home.
a)Teach the children great confidence in Mary, that she never fails them. My earliest recollection of my mother was her great faith in Mary. When I would go to her with a childish problem she would say "ask our Blessed Mother, and she will help you, she has never failed me in anything that I have asked her!" Nothing is too small or unimportant.
b)Have the prettiest picture or statue of Mary that you can afford in your home. Put it in a place where the baby can see it. It would be nice to have a Mary's corner. So few of us have a room for prayer and peace, but it is possible for all of us to give a corner of some room to her -- where the family can gather to pray -- or to go to for inspiration and guidance -- or just to talk to God -- through Mary. We made an altar from an outgrown breakfast table. Mary's statue came first. Now we have added Joseph and in the Infant Jesus. The Holy Family!
7) Now to summarize this briefly: Make your spiritual life one and the same. Whether you are a) nursing the baby b) cleaning the house c) driving the car d) buying the groceries e) selecting your clothes f) planning a party g) saying your prayers -- there is a right way to do it. Mary's Way -- in Mary with Mary and for Mary. It's hard -- you bet! Yet remember -- and teach your children -- although you may fail Mary -- she will never fail you~
When it gets too much for you -- as it often will -- speak of her -- "It's all yours, Mary" (thinking of the noisy or sick children - or the muddy floors -- or the unexpected company coming for dinner, etc.)
"Yes it's all yours, Mary, so now you take over" -- and she will!

Rest In Peace, Mama

2007-12-09T10:59:00.000-08:00

Born on the Feast day for the Visitation, died on the Feast day of the Immaculate Conception, Mama was close to the Holy Mother in spirit throughout her life. She has now passed on, but leaves behind a legacy of faith in her children, grandchildren, great-grandchild, and many friends whose lives she touched. A daughter of the pioneers, an inspiration to her husband and children, a true believer in Christ and his salvation, she inspired many to attain much.

There will be a funeral mass at St. Joseph's Catholic Church in Ft. Collins on Saturday, December 22, 2007. We thank God for having touched us through her. Joe

Chattin' with the Almighty (A.K.A. morning prayer)

2007-11-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Where is your zealous care and your might?
your surge of pity and your mercy?
Don't hold back, you are our father.
Our redeemer, you are named forever. Isaiah 63:15-16

I will not leave or forsake you. Jos 1:5

You are our father; we are the clay and you are the potter. Is 64:7

Dear God,

You inspired those words above a long time ago, but you talk to us today through the same Spirit that inspired them. We still need your care, might, pity and mercy. Please don't hold back. Be who you are: our caring father, and make the clay that we are into an image of yourself today. We need your help, we need your concern. Its enough for you to be who you are. Help us today to be who you made us to be and are making us to be.

Presumption v. Experience

2007-10-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

In the Magnificat readings for yesterday I came across an article written by a man named Monsignor Lorenzo Albacete that was quite thought provoking. He is discussing St. Augustine's wondering about God's interactions in Augustine's life. Augustine was wondering why God had led him to study Plato. Plato, of course, was the ancient Greek philosopher who applied reason to try to explain existentialism and whose writings were (and are) widely used in classical study. Augustine concludes that it must have been to teach him the difference between "presumption and confession". Now there are probably 3 or 4 languages and one or two thousand years involved in translating these concepts into modern words, but the gist seems to be that being a follower of Christ through only having been taught by your teachers and trusting solely in the institution of the church is not enough. For Augustine, if one intellectually "becomes" a Christian through proper philosophy, theology, spirituality, morality or cultural project, it is merely based on presumption. You are presuming that the intelligent and well meaning ancestors and teachers must have it right, so that if you follow the guidelines you can attain the desirable goal of salvation, whatever that turns out to be. You are presuming that you can become saved through your own efforts, by doing the right things and thinking the right way. Augustine's point was that you must experience, personally, God's work of salvation. We have been saved, are being saved, and will be saved because God is doing it. God became man in the person of Christ, God filled the disciples with his Spirit at Pentecost, Christ rose from the dead and lives. God is still alive and still acting. When we personally experience God at work in our lives, then we are driven to witness to others what God is doing. We "confess" what we have experienced to our peers. Monsignor Albacete uses the word "evangelization" to describe the process of telling others about what has happened to you.

The fire of the evangelicals. The motivation of personal experience. I have experienced two miraculous healings personally. I have been filled with the Holy Spirit. I have been absolved of my sins. I am still struggling to understand and see what God is about, but I cannot deny what he does. Monsignor Albacete calls it the "concern which post-Christian man has tragically lost". I don't see it as lost. It is alive and well, but not evident where where one might presume it to be. If you come to experience the sacraments you can enthusiastically engage the street preachers and cult members and cowboys and indians with what you have found out. God is alive! He loves me! He saves me!

Boots: the rest of the story

2007-10-21T08:16:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I forgot to post this earlier, but I have been busy.

As you may know, the Roman Catholic Church doesn't teach the concept of reincarnation. However, I think there are major religions of the world and even some protestants who do consider the possibility. General George Patton was a famous believer in it. The validity is beyond knowing in this mortal life with certainty, but it is fun to play around with in a "what if" sort of way. As a practical matter, I do defer to the wisdom of the ages handed down within the church founded by and protected by God (the Roman Catholic Church). So, even though I might wonder about reincarnation, I do not believe in it.

Thirty years ago I took a college course on the religions of the world. One of them (Hindu, perhaps) taught that souls are "recycled" through this world, life after life, until they do a really good job and and end up close to God. You might come back as an animal, you might come back as woman, or you might come back as a perennial soldier, like Patton thought he had. Patton would have a Deja Vu experience on various ancient battlefields that would remind him. The major religion that teaches you could come back as animals went on to say that all life is, therefor, sacred, since it could be grandpa. They especially thought bovines (cows) were sacred. Here on the ranch I spend this life with the herd, feeding them and caring for them. They have a good life, with plenty of different kinds of good food. A beautiful place to live with all their needs met. They also have community with the rest of the herd. They are, most days, peaceful, content, and thriving.

So I have wondered aloud about this concept of reincarnation, and have said before that if it were true I would want to come back as a herd bull on this ranch. Here on this ground the herd bull has vast beautiful pastures of tall palatable grasses with clear running water and all the females he can breed. He is surrounded by his "wives" and his children in the land of milk and honey.

THE REST OF THE STORY
Last September I went to a bull sale in eastern Oklahoma and bought 3 bulls. On the way home I stopped at a friend's house in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. While there, one of the bulls made an astonishing flat footed five foot leap to escape from the stock trailer (no other animal I have hauled has been able to accomplish this). He was very excited, and could not be eased back toward confinement. He went running through town, across the highway, and jumped the fence into the graveyard. 911 calls abounded. For some unknown reason he was content to stay in one part of the graveyard where he was eventually roped by some good cowboys sent to the rescue. After the ordeal was over my lady friend whom I was visiting pointed out that he was standing on the grave of one "Boots" Adams when he was captured. Boots Adams was a successful executive at Phillips Petroleum Company in Bartlesville during his life. He was rich, and bought several big Osage County ranches, right here in "cow heaven". Perhaps reincarnation and the related Deja Vu experience could explain this unusual turn of events. Maybe Boots did come back as a herd bull, and the proximity to his former body motivated his "super-bovine" feat of leaping out of the trailer and then drew him to his former grave? Most times an animal under stress either will fight or flee. This herd bull, curiously, did neither when confronted with the cowboys on horses. He neither ran away, nor charged the horses. He stood there, and didn't fight until we tried to load him in the trailer. Then he fought with vigor. So, is this herd bull Boots Adams reincarnated? I don't know, but it makes a good story, and gives me a good reason to name this animal "Boots".

There is something about Mary

2007-10-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

From today's Gospel:
Luke 11: 27 - 28
27 As he said this, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, "Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts that you sucked!"
28 But he said, "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!"

I am devoted to Mary, the mother of God. I do believe that peoples' souls live on after the body dies. Hence, there are many passed away, yet still "living". I often ask people whom I consider close to God to pray for me in my little trials and tribulations. People like Deacon Jim, or, if I could, Mother Angelica from EWTN. So it is natural to ask Mary to pray for me as well. I have, and often do. And I think she listens and does intercede effectively. I don't understand why protestants have such a problem with this. However, I do not think that devotion to the Blessed Mother is the end-all answer. There are people who pay lip service to respecting Mary, yet choose to ignore the Word of God when it comes time to keep it. These folks are fooling themselves. Be alert, do not presume goodness to follow from a person who uses devotion to Mary to gain your confidence. See what decisions they make when faced with following the word of God or not. Still, do not discard the value of her intercession when you want some company in your prayers. She should be blessed since God chose her out of all the humans he created to bear his son and to nurture him. Jesus was fully human and fully God. Surely he loves and honors his mother.

If you want to do a good job with your time on earth, listen to Jesus' words: hear the word of God AND KEEP IT! That is how you glorify God, and that is why you are here.

Shame on the pop star, the hypocrites, and anyone who would use the respect due to the true Madonna to mislead those who are trying to honor her.

God loves Cattle

2007-10-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

from today's mass:
Jonah: God said "shoudn't I be concerned over the great city with more than 120,000 persons, NOT TO MENTION THE MANY CATTLE?"
Luke: Jesus teaches the "Our Father"

Yes, God does love his cattle, and sends them ranchers to take care of them. He also loves you, and wants you to remember that God is your father, he sends your daily bread, and he will forgive your mistakes with the same measure that you forgive others who have hurt you.

All new Tundra

2007-10-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I posted, and I will get back to spiritual discussions, but first I wanted to crow about this great pickup truck. This is the '07 Tundra with the new big engine. It can pull a 20 foot gooseneck full of cattle effortlessly, and stop it easily without the trailer brakes even attached! I have changed over fron 1 ton Fords to half ton Toyotas for my ranch because they ride way smoother, work just as hard, and are MUCH more reliable.

This scandalizes many ranchers who feel that I deserted my country in favor of the country that our fathers went to war with. However, this truck is MADE IN AMERICA, BY AMERICANS, FOR AMERICANS, WITH JAPANESE OVERSIGHT AND QUALITY CONTROL. Unlike Fords, Chevy's and Dodges, it is not engineered to break after the warranty period. It rides like a 70's Cadillac did on the highway, but this Tundra is out in rough pastures carrying feed and hay to cattle. Good job, Toyota!

Not your words, but your actions...

2007-09-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

You either belong wholly to the world or wholly to God.

-- St. John Vianney

From Psalm 146:
8 the LORD opens the eyes of the blind. The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down; the LORD loves the righteous.
9 The LORD watches over the sojourners, he upholds the widow and the fatherless; but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.
Luke 16: 19 - 31
19 "There was a rich man, who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day.
20 And at his gate lay a poor man named Laz'arus, full of sores,
21 who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man's table; moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.
22 The poor man died and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom. The rich man also died and was buried;
23 and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes, and saw Abraham far off and Laz'arus in his bosom.
24 And he called out, `Father Abraham, have mercy upon me, and send Laz'arus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue; for I am in anguish in this flame.'
25 But Abraham said, `Son, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Laz'arus in like manner evil things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish.
26 And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.'
27 And he said, `Then I beg you, father, to send him to my father's house,
28 for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them, lest they also come into this place of torment.'
29 But Abraham said, `They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.'
30 And he said, `No, father Abraham; but if some one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.'
31 He said to him, `If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be convinced if some one should rise from the dead.'"

And the lesson for this wonderer is: You only have this life to good. If you wake up blind, get close to God. If your husband passes ahead of you, get close to God. If you are wealthy, be poor in spirit, so that lean and humble you can pass through the eye of the needle, unlike the materially blessed pompous "camel"

Did Boots make it back?

2007-09-16T17:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered if the Hindu's could be right in the concept of reincarnation? What if we did come back in new forms after death? There is a story to unfold with these pictures, and I hope to get it published soon.

What busy summer!

2007-08-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

a very busy time. There is much news and activity, I hope to be posting soon.

More from Deacon Jim on Marriage and Family

2007-06-23T14:35:00.000-07:00

What do Catherine of Sienna, Thersa of Avila, and Therese of Lisieux have in common? Not when they lived (500 years apart). Not the economic status of their families. Not formal education. All three were saints, and are Doctors of the Church. These three are the only women who have been elevated to such status. A Doctor of the Church is first recognized as having lead a life of great sanctity and is declared to be a Saint in heaven. Second, a Doctor is recognized as having produced writings through which the entire Church gains great advantage. All three women had only limited formal education, and never considered themselves theologians or scholars. Each of these three imparted a unique understanding of the revelation of God to man that is recognized throughout history. All three came to such profound understandings through the impact of their family life and their personal openess to to the inner teaching of our Lord. It is important to recognize that through the lives and teachings of the family members, they were each schooled in ways of spiritual life that surpasses that of the most important of Universities.

CELEBRATION - Growth in love- 4th stage
MEDITATION- SACRAMENTS-79-MATRIMONY 9
The Church has through the ages of the Old and New Testaments, up to the present age emphasized the need for family in the formation of its children in the ways of the world and in the ways of God. The Hebrew family of the Old Testament was a close knit group, who learned the ways of the world by working with the father and the mother within the household and most daughters became mothers and fulfilled the role taught by their mothers and sons learned their trade from their fathers. In the transmission of spiritual knowledge, the entire family followed the rule of their faith and expressed their devotion through communal, family and personal prayer. As the first Christians, including Jesus, were Hebrew, these traditions passed into the Christian discipline of life.

The importance of family life is well expressed in the Book of Genesis, where, “in the beginning” when God created Eve from the flesh and blood of Adam while he was in an ecstatic state. The ecstatic conjugal union of husband and wife assuring the begetting of children at the same time provides a source of joy and happiness passed on to the children.
This teaching is expressed by the Bishops of the world in the Second Vatican Council document Gaudium et spes (Joy and peace) in 1965. In this document article 50 states; “While not making the other purposes of matrimony of less account, the true practice of conjugal love, and the whole meaning of the family life which results from it, have this aim: that the couple be ready with stout hearts to cooperate with the love of the Creator and the Savior. Who through them will enlarge and enrich His own family day by day.”

In 1981, Pope John Paul II in article 28 of his Apostolic Exhortation; “The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World.” Writes the following. “The fruitfulness of conjugal love is not restricted solely to the procreation of children, even understood in its specifically human dimension: it is enlarged and enriched by all those fruits of moral, spiritual and supernatural life which the father and mother are called to hand on to their children and through the children to the Church and to the world.”

It is important that during preparation for celebration of the Sacrament of Matrimony that both members of the couple clearly understand that this sacrament is not a matter of their personal fulfillment. Although it is important that each partners are fulfilled through marital union is most importantly about a total giving of self to the spouse throughout life and when children are born, a total giving of both “selves” to each of the children. When this is done with intention and care, not only will children be successful in the world of industry, but they will also be successful in the spiritual world. It is from such determination that saints are made.

Want to enter the tent?

2007-06-22T05:49:00.000-07:00

Who shall be admitted to your tent and dwell on your holy mountain?
He who walks without fault;
who acts with justice and speaks the truth from his heart;
who does not slander with his tongue;
who does no wrong to his brother, casts no slur on his neighbor;
who holds the godless in disdain, but honors those who fear the Lord;
who keeps his pledge, come what may - PS 15

Set an example in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity. Be diligent and absorbed in these matters, so that your progress may be evident to everyone. 1 Tim

Seek the Lord in integrity of heart - Wis. 1

Coming towards a sinless life is like a journey. All along the road we are faced with decisions. Make the right ones, based on a closeness at heart to God, and have faith that you will arrive. Once you decide that you want to go the way instructed by your "good shepherd", you will be constantly tempted to deviate, and must make the right choices when the decision comes. The pattern of consistently making choices in line with God's word is called "attaining sanctification" by the church. It is the road to salvation and the reason the church in both the institution and in the family spends so much time on education.

Pure of Heart

2007-06-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God. Mt.
They are happy whose life is blameless. Psalms
If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly father will forgive yours. Mt.

Strive to keep the commandments, to keep a soft heart, and to forgive those who have wronged you. But don't go overboard with offering the other cheek. Remember that your life is precious, too.

Do Right and Fear No Man

2007-06-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

Guard me as the apple of your eye. Hide me in the shadow of your wings. Ps17:8
From Deut. 32: Our God is faithful, without deceit. Yet basely he has been treated by his children. Is this how you repay your father who created you and established you?

This morning's prayers from the Magnificat: You, God, are the rock on which we stand; uphold those who seek to live justly in places of injustice. You, God, are without deceit. Free those who conceal their hearts in falsehood and betray other's trust.

When we leave our parents and go out into the "real world", we are confronted with the fruits of sin in the form of lies and deception. Many are the sins of humanity. How common it is for modern men to lust after easy money, or undeserved power. Hidden agendas abound. Stay right with God, keep his commandments. He is alive. He is your father. He is saving you. Pray for those who succumb to deception, that they also will be saved.

29+ inches since the drought ended in April. The National weather service will say that "normal" rainfall here is 23 inches a year. What they don't tell you is that there has never been a normal year. The TV will tell you it is global warming. Maybe so. It is still God's creation, and he will do what he will. The old timers around here knew that there never was a "normal" year. Today's title was a favorite saying of my grandfather.

2007-06-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

Unless you become like little children, you shall not enter the kingdom of God. Matt.

Children have a gift for wonder. In wondering, we forget ourselves, and praise from the heart comes easy. It is amazing that we, in spite of our faults and weaknesses, are made in God's image and as such are his children; given dominion over the other creatures.

Let it Shine

2007-06-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

From Matthew: Jesus says "You are the light of the world. [no one] lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Your light must shine before others, so that they can see your good deeds and glorify God."

Louis Lavelle, a 1950's Christian philosopher and professor from France, suggests a gentle approach to shining. He notes that "The will stiffens when another would bend or break it, but relaxes in the presence of gentleness. Only gentleness wins battles without fighting them, and transforms foes into friends." Remember this when you face opposition. Try to silence the tumult of your own passions, and get your emotional reaction under control. Approach the disagreement in a docile and sensitive way so that you can "follow the subtle and sensitive contours of reality".

On the ranch the cowboys must get the cattle to go into the pens, get on a truck or go through the chute. This is best accomplished not by brutality, which often results in injury, but by keeping the cattle calm and moving at an easy gait.

Due Season

2007-06-09T07:22:00.000-07:00

"If you live in accordance with my precepts and are careful to observe my commandments, I will give you rain in due season, so that the land will bear its crops...so that you may dwell securely in your land" Lv 26

20.53 inches of rain since the drought!

Facing Difficulty

2007-06-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power. Ephesians.
Rescue me, God, from my foes; protect me from those who attack me. I will sing of your strength and acclaim your love. Psalm 59.
No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it. 1 Cor.
I have strength for everything from him who empowers me Phil.

I have what the doctors believe to be Multiple Sclerosis. I first noticed something was wrong with my memory because I could not remember how to play classical music on my guitar that I had memorized. This bothered me, but was not overbearing. Then I went completely blind. This was overwhelming. I was totally reliant on others to see for me. Losing your sight is a terrifying and humbling experience. I had to call on my family and friends, and quickly found out who were my true friends. Special thanks to my son Paul, my neighbor Joe, and my brother John. My spirit cried out to God to deliver me. Through the efforts of my brothers the Lord led me to a man who correctly diagnosed the problem and started me on the road to recovery. Although I still couldn't see what I looked directly at, my peripheral vision improved to the point that I could function. To onlookers I was fine, because I could walk around without bumping into things and I learned how to rely upon peripheral vision to tell what I was about. I was still not seeing in color, but I was not able to tell what I was missing directly in front of me. I began praying to Mary, asking her to join me in praying to God for recovery. I started some non-traditional medicine. I went on pilgrimage to Europe to obtain medicine and to bathe at Lourdes. I was truly humble, repentant for my own sinfulness. Slowly the sores on my optic chiasm healed themselves. My vision had returned in full and in color within 6 months of my baths at Lourdes. I really am thankful that God provided a way out of this overpowering trial. I still have difficulty playing my classical repertoire from memory, but I can bear that. I still have lesions on my brain, but they are not getting worse, and some are very slowly healing. MS means sores on the brain, and modern medicine has not figured out yet how they get there or how to heal nerve damage. They are making progress.

The real power and strength lies in God our maker. There is nothing more important in this life than staying close to God, except for being with him after the end of our mortal existence. This is what the church is all about. This is what the sacraments bring us to when they are practiced from the heart.

Doing Good

2007-06-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

These heifers are doing it all, thanks to the rain and the good Lord.

The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him. (Romans)

Death is absolutely certain for every living thing. Getting old is not all it is cracked up to be, since for most of us it involves suffering. In spite of the suffering, we usually prefer it to the alternative. We cry out to our spiritual father in our suffering, and he lovingly points us to the example of his son. If you are suffering, ask yourself if you are doing so with Christ. Examine your conscience to see if it is the result of your sin or the result of someone else's. If it is someone else's, pray for them. Then you will be with Christ. If it is yours, repent. A humble heart devoted to good is the key to enduring the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Our spirits live on past this mortal existence, and can live on glorified with Christ. It is up to us.

Trinity Sunday

2007-06-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

Worth dying for?

From today's Magnificat reading:
The Catechism teaches that "by sending his only Son and the Spirit of Love in the fullness of time, God has revealed his innermost secret: God himelf is an eternal exchange of love, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and he has destined us to share in that exchange" (221). "The complete Trinity dwells in us" R.P. Philippon). "In the communion of grace with the Trinity, man's 'living area' is broadened and raised up to the supernatural level of divine life. Man lives in and by God" (Pope John Paul II)

Three persons, one God. Hard to understand. Newsflash: even the concept of one God is hard for many people to understand. Much about God is hard to understand. After all, He is God, and we are mere creatures. The sheep in the herd don't really understand the sheperd, it is enough to know he is there and that he takes care of them. Being made in God's image, we keep trying to expand our understanding beyond our reason. We do trust in the wisdom of the ages, and the instructions left by our loving ancestors. We inherit the faith of our fathers when it comes to matters beyong our comprehension. I suppose the islamic jihadists do as well. I wonder what Athanasius and Arius would say if they had foreseen all the trouble that came from their exchange?

Saints Marcellinus and Peter

2007-06-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today the Church celebrates the martyrdom of these two men who were killed about the year 303. At that time the Church was being persecuted by the Roman emperor Diocletian. It was the period just before Constantine made the Church legal, and the Catholics were hiding in the catacombs. They kept a written record of their martyrs (available at Amazon.com). The Holy Spirit was very active among the Catholics of the period, and Peter (while imprisoned) had exorcised an evil spirit from the daughter of his jailer. It was so impressive an exorcism that the jailer converted, released Peter, and Peter took him and his daughter to Marcellinus, a priest who baptized the jailer, all his family, and his neighbors. The jailer's boss (a judge) was not happy at this conversion story, and had Marcellinus and Peter tortured and murdered for their faith. Just a few years later the Holy Spirit converted Constantine and the martyrs have been publicly venerated by the Church ever since. What an amazing group of believers this Church must have been! Facing torture and death, and performing miracles some 300 years after Christ and the apostles. The Holy Spirit was alive and active within this group so convincingly that even the emperor Constantine eventually became a believer, and had to acknowledge the true power of the Christian God in spite of "political correctness". This is the same Holy Spirit and powerful God that protects and guides the Church through all the ages in spite of the human weaknesses and demonic attacks against its individual members. Too bad that the exorcism of the jailer's daughter isn't available on You Tube!

Read the story at http://www.catholicculture.org/lit/calendar/day.cfm?date=2007-06-02

Deacon Jim on Family

2007-06-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

Below is an excerpt from Deacon Jim Breazile's e-mail newsletter. The Deacon is a brilliant man with a sincere vocation and worth listening to.
SPIRITUALITY 101
SPIRITUAL REFLECTION- 232
Rev. Dcn. Jim Breazile OCDS

According to an oriental legend, on the site where Jerusalem was built lived two brothers, one with many children and the other was single and lived alone. Once they gathered their harvest and put the wheat in two piles. One night the single brother thought, “My brother has a large family and needs more wheat than I do; I will put some of my sheaves on his pile.” About an hour later the married brother woke up and thought, “My brother lives alone and doesn’t have anyone to help him in his life. I must do something for him. Taking some of the sheaves from his pile he carried them to that of his brother. Next morning they were both surprised to see that each of the piles remained the same as when they left them the night before.

Family unity is not a relationship that is planned by its members. It is however a seeming necessity of duty of importance to our lives. Family unity is a special bond between members that comes from without. It is a special grace of the Sacrament of matrimony. Because of its recognized importance to unity in society, disunity among family members is considered a seriously sinful state. Family disunity, like all sin, induces a disturbance within family members that reverberates to the world in which we live.

CELEBRATION - Growth in love- 4th stage
MEDITATION- SACRAMENTS-77-MATRIMONY 7

Unity between members of families is a worldly expression of the unity Christ wishes in his Church. In its teachings regarding family unity the Church does not refer to the fulfillment of a commandment or a civil law. The law that each family member recognizes in their hearts is similar to that of the Communist Manifesto which states; “From each in accord with their means to each in accord with their needs.” It is a law that comes from God ordained to the nature of the human family. It is easily recognized that within a family of 5, there are 5 individual personalities with different aims in life and differing requirements for their personal well being. Yet in this family of five there is a unity of heart that each person recognizes as calling them to the obedience of love.

Familial love provides the means by which the dignity of each member can be elevated simply by assisting them to find the true treasure of familial love as sons and daughters of the Lord. Parents represent a visible sign of Gods love. As this love becomes an integral part of family life, it becomes familiar to each child. In this way every family receives its name (Eph 3:15), which is ordained by God. This family name, which scripture indicates extends to families both in heaven and on earth, represents a relationship with God Himself, the source of life and love. Family unity represents a cooperation in God’s salvific mission on earth. Through this cooperation the family unity in love becomes a special form of incarnation within the family members as the central purpose of the Church.

The role of the family in the Church was outlined by Pope John Paul II in his Apostolic Exhortation on the family. In article 17, he writes, “The family finds in the plan of God the Creator and Redeemer not only its identity, what it is, but also its mission, what it can and should do. In this expression he calls all families to ‘become what you are’.” It is necessary therefore to establish as best we can, a clear basic definition of family. It is clear that God establishes the family as a small community of love and unity for a special purpose in his establishment of his Kingdom on earth. The Pope emphasizes that “the essential identity of what the family is can best described as love.”

This definition extends beyond a concept that is limited to unity and mutual love between family members, but must incorporate these characteristics into a larger context. The definition of family as love leads us to the first encyclical letter of Pope Benedict XVI entitled “God is Love.” It is clear that if God is love and family is love that the definition of family takes on more than just a similarity to God, but a means by which God is present on earth. The definition of family as love stretches our imagination and for this reason Paul gives us an indication of how the unity and love within family reveals the mystery of the relationship of Christ to his Church. (Eph. 5:32)

A Sad Day

2007-06-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

I buried my beloved Cuckleburr yesterday. My legs for 16 years, an animal who understood what I was thinking by how I held his reins. Never equalled as a cow pony and companion, he was always ready to go and he will be sorely missed.

Why do bad things happen to good horses? I wonder. I do thank God for bringing this wonderful creature into my life and blessing me through him for so many years.

Real Fruit

2007-05-29T06:04:00.000-07:00

A beautiful work of God

James: Be doers of the word and not hearers only.
Paul: It is not those who hear the law who are just in the sight of God; rather, those who observe.

It is not enough to pay lip service to God. Your faith is proven in your actions. Yes, we are justified by our faith; but faith that doesn't lead to action is only imaginary. Prove your faith in what you do. God will bless you for it.

2007-05-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

Gathering cattle

In today's gospel (John 17: 20-26) Jesus prays for all those who will believe in him (in the future) through the word to be spread by his disciples. His prayer is for the believers to have God's glory, to be one, to share in God's love, to be with Jesus, and to be a sign to the world.

In this same gospel he says that God loved him before the foundation of the world. Believing in this concept was the difference between St. Athanasius's orthodox Trinitarian view (see my earlier post on "Hero for today") and Arius's "one God" view. I think that Arius's followers eventually included Mohammad, leading to the Islamic battle cry "There is only one God and Mohammad is is his prophet!". Perhaps today's war on terror, the rise of the Aryan nation in Germany, and all of the Crusades can be traced back to the heated dispute between the two deacons of Alexandria?

Wallowing in Blessings

2007-05-19T05:49:00.000-07:00

Praise and joy are in his holy place

"whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you...ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. I do not tell you that I will ask the Father for you. For the Father himself loves you because you have loved me" John

Get right with God, and he will take care of you.

Just be careful about what you ask for, and make sure that you really love the Son of God.

Ready for Love

2007-05-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

These bulls have been up by themselves for 6 weeks now. Today is the day they go to work making babies! They are in good flesh and the first calves will come February 20th, 2008.

God is in your midst, Zephaniah 3

April showers bring...

2007-05-10T08:33:00.000-07:00

17.47 inches now since the drought. The pastures are soggy.

Psalm 59: O God, rescue me from those who do evil. I will sing of your strength, the God who shows me love.
1 Cor.: No trial has come to you but what is human.
John: As the Father loves me, so also do I love you. Remain in my love.

Sometimes people that we love shock us by doing something evil. It hurts even more when they do it to us. It is not as much the value of the theft or the damage done by the lie, but the fact that they have returned your love with evil. We are made in God's image. We are designed to give love. We are fulfilled by doing so. We want to trust those that we love. When they do evil to us it hardens our hearts. The more sincere your love, the deeper the cut. Maybe it is God's way of showing us how he feels when we sin. Sin cuts us off from love. The offended party cannot give love while the offense remains. How they yearn for the loved one to come clean, to tell the true reason why they did it, to acknowledge the offense, to apologize. How happy it is to be able to resume our love. How terribly we miss being able to give it. Be right with God. Stay in his love. Ask for his help when you examine your conscience, and be honest when you confess your sins. If you have betrayed another's love you should make it right with them. Admit what you did and why. They want to love you.

The new commandment

2007-05-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

In today's gospel the risen Jesus is with his disciples and tells them that he is soon leaving them. Then he goes on to say "I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so also should you love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." Later in John's gospel Jesus adds "if you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love."

There is a popular Christian song about knowing they are Christians by their love. This sounds wonderful, but it can be a tall order. It doesn't take much to love a saint who keeps all God's commandments. Yet there are many Christians who don't keep very many of them. We are called to love the sinner, but hate the sin. Even those who hurt you personally. Has someone physically assaulted you? Don't put yourself in harm's way, but follow Pope John Paul II's example that he set with the man who shot him. Try to discover the truth, so that you can point out their error and love them in spite of their sin. Has someone lied to you, stolen from you, lied about you? How about all of the above from the same person? Try to point out their errors, but don't subject yourself to any more. If they will not listen, then try to go with an elder to point them out. You should hate the sins, and if they are Christian they will repent. Do all that you can to help the Good Shepherd bring them back to the flock. We are all parts of the Body of Christ. Try to understand the truth behind the behavior. Do not accept sinful behavior, but do try to understand and help the sinner, then pray that you will remain in Christ's love.

Fifteen inches since the drought!

2007-05-04T09:28:00.000-07:00

"He will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will always be with them" Rev.

Hero for Today

2007-05-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

Saint Athanasius, today is his Feast Day

One of the Doctors of the Church, now called the "Father of Orthodoxy", Saint Athanasius was about 10 years younger than Constantine the Great. He was an intelligent, educated, spirit filled, courageous man who would not allow politics to sway the dogma of the newly decriminalized church. Athanasius lived in a violent time of political unrest. The church had been under heavy persecution by Galerius, who was the emperor of the Eastern Roman empire until his death in 311. Galerius was succeeded by Licinius in the east. Constantine had consolidated political power in the western empire with his unlikely victory at the Milvian bridge in 312. Constantine had attributed his miraculous victory to the God of the Christians, and issued the Edit of Milan in 313, declaring Christianity was not a crime. Even though Licinius had also signed the Edict, he had just married Constantine's sister. By 322 Licinius changed his mind about Christianity and renewed persecution in the east. A new war broke out between the two emperors, which was largely decided by a violent storm wrecking most of Licinius' navy (God's hand?). Constantine didn't consolidate military and political power until 325. In that same year Anthanasius attended the first Council of Nicea, which Constantine had called for in order to determine just what it was that the newly legitimized church believed. At that time Athanasius was a deacon in Alexandria, and attended the Council as a companion to his bishop. The big battle within the church as it came out of the closet revolved around the divinity of Christ, the doctrine of the Trinity, as well as appropriate reverence for Mary. The antagonists of the time were a man named Arius (also a deacon in Alexandria) and his politically motivated patron, a bishop named Eusebius. These Arians were the forerunners of protestantism as well as the natural result of the legitimization of the church. For the first time in history it was OK to be Christian without being threatened physically. For the first time in history a significant political and military leader not only accepted the church, but he even endorsed it and gave its God credit for his worldly success. No wonder that there was a rush of political opportunists trying to change the truth of the faith to suit not only themselves, but also the political correctness of the time. No doubt there was a flood of "converts" who saw real power and monetary advantages from being labeled Christian. The problem for the insincere was in understanding accepting God's truth, which had sustained the faithful during the persecutions.

Enter Athanasius. His devotion to the truth and fearless struggle against the heresy of his day can be credited with laying the foundation of much that we now take for granted as having always been church doctrine. He was exiled from his bishopric in Alexandria 5 times. He was falsely accused. He was persecuted for his conviction. Often a fugitive, his writings are clear and concise and correct. Some of his works include "Against the Pagans" written in 318, "On the Incarnation of the Word of God" in 323, "Discourses against the Arians" in 368, and "The Life of Saint Antony", which was credited by St. Augustine as being the deciding influence that led to Augustine's conversion.

If you want to know what being an Orthodox Catholic is all about, and where it came from, study this man.

Ask me for references for further reading. I have some reliable ones.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: we are now showing 14.5 inches of rain since the drought broke and more is called for. My cup runneth over (as do the ponds and creek crossings)! Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2007-05-01T04:17:00.000-07:00

That's right! Not Christmas as the song says, but Easter time! God is with us in a most substantial way, working to invigorate all of his creation; pouring out his blessings with his rain. The rain gauge now says 12.96 inches of rain since the drought, and it shows on the grass and the cattle.

Quick quote:
Lord, how great you are.
You make springs gush forth in the valleys: they flow in between the hills.
They give drink to all the beasts, on their banks dwell the birds of heaven; from the branches they sing their song.
From your dwelling you water the hills; earth drinks its fill of your gift. Psalm 104

May Day! Today is the feast of St. Joseph the Worker, after whom my mother says I am named. When I heard this I remember hoping and praying for the grace to live up to such a lofty name. The name Joseph translates "he shall add". Upon hearing the significance of the name given me by those who unquestionably loved me, I endeavored to identify with the assigned characteristics. Perhaps that is why I was able to find within me the ability to leave the professional life for a life of labor on the ranch. Perhaps that is why I have always sought to add to the value of the legacy entrusted to me. God has thrown me some curves, but nothing compared to those of my namesake. He was betrothed to a rare beauty, the zenith of God's creation, the one human being ever created well enough to be the mother of God. A normal man would have been disappointed to learn that such a wonderful creature was going to be ever a virgin. It could have been easy for most to at least resent having to labor to support her and her child. The tradition passed down in Christ's church tells us that Joseph never complained of his lot. He worked hard by day to earn his and the holy family's daily bread, but laborers sleep well at night, and really enjoy the simple blessings of nourishment and rest. Saint Joseph had the added benefit of living with and raising Jesus Christ. And being married to Mary. When God calls us to something the costs are always inconsequential compared to the benefits, no matter how great the costs are.

On Being a Sheep

2007-04-29T06:36:00.000-07:00

Quick quotes: We, your people, the flock of your pasture, will give you thanks forever Ps 79
My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me. Jn10:27
Moses said to the Lord "May the Lord set over the community a man who shall act as their leader...so that the Lord's community may not be like sheep without a shepherd"

Without a shepherd sheep can still exist, maybe. If they don't become prey. If they don't die from starvation or dehydration. The sheep by themselves don't know the way to thrive. See the early posts on this blog about being a sheep, and learning to love the rod and staff. With our personal savior we have a "good shepherd" who comes after us and restores us to the flock when we are lost. Are you lost? Do you feel alone and unloved, battling hardships that seem unfair? That alone does not mean you are lost, since we are called to follow Christ to the cross and through the suffering to share in his resurrection. The real sign seems to be: are you having trouble with sincerely singing God's song of love from your heart? Can you forgive those who wrong you? Can you love in spite of finding sin in your fellow? If that is the case, then call out constantly to your good shepherd. Look for the other sheep who do not share your problem, and try to learn what they know. If you do not understand, then trust blindly in the wisdom of the ages and the church which Christ founded and leads through the successor of Peter.

Prairie Springtime

2007-04-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

April in the Osage: The bulls are up and getting ready for the breeding season. They are gaining weight and spend most of their time grazing and singing to the cows, announcing their availability. We turn them out the first week in May in order to have February babies. The cows are also beefing up and should be cycling by May.

Quick quote: In my God is the joy of my soul [Isaiah].

The wonder of life abounds in April. This is my favorite time of year! It is also the favorite for the cattle as they build their strength and heighten their breeding instincts in preparation to participate in God's creative work. It is easy to see God's hand at work.

Easter Saturday

2007-04-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

April snow?

Global warming has sure taken an unexpected turn. The rain gauge now has 11.4 inches to date, 2 and a half yesterday, followed by snow this morning. All is well, though, soon it will be warm and the new growth resuming. Back to the feed trucks!

From the Canticle of Isaiah: "The parched land will exult; the prairie will rejoice and bloom. It will bloom with abundant flowers and rejoice with joyful song. Say to those whose hearts are frightened: Be strong, fear not! Here is your God, he comes with vindication; he comes to save you with divine recompense. Then will the eyes of the blind be opened. Rivers will burst forth on the prairie. The thirsty ground will become springs of water. Those whom the Lord has ransomed will be crowned with everlasting joy; sorrow and mourning will flee."

If April showers bring May flowers, what will April snow bring? Stay tuned! I should get a pic this morning of one of those rivers that has burst forth on the prairie. Or one of the springs of water where there had been thirsty ground. This morning, however, the cattle are fearful of God's work, but I have faith!

Coming soon: I was blind, but now I see: a true story.

He is Risen!

2007-04-10T09:30:00.000-07:00

All the earth is full of God's Glory!

I have been to Colorado and back. It is always good to see family. We have had our Easter storm, which included a freeze that put a stop to all the grass growing which had started after the rains. 8.75 inches have fallen in total, the ponds are full and the ground is wet and springtime just awaits warmer weather.

Psalm 42:
Like the deer that yearns for running streams,
so my soul is yearning for you, my God.

With cries that pierce me to the heart, my enemy reviles me,
saying to me all day long "where is your God?"

Why are you cast down, my soul, why groan within me?
Hope in God; I will praise him still, my savior and my God.

Just as the Lord formed the beauty of the Rockies and sends yet again the magical blessing of new life with spring, I know that he lives, that he loves me, and my soul can hope in him with confidence. He has saved me, he is saving me, and he is going to save me.

Annunciation

2007-03-26T08:20:00.000-07:00

Psalm 85:
Faithfulness shall spring from the earth
and justice look down from heaven.

The Lord will make us prosper
and our earth shall yield its fruit.
Justice shall march before him
and peace shall follow his steps.

Isaiah:
I am the Lord, I make well-being and create woe; let justice descend like gentle rain, let the earth open and salvation bud forth; let justice also spring up!

Today the church celebrates the start of the story of God becoming man. An angel named Gabriel shows up and tells Mary she is going to be pregnant by God and will deliver His son. A pretty amazing occurence, beyond human understanding. What would you have said? Perhaps something like "I am special. My uterus is especially special. No extraterrestrial beings allowed! How could I explain it to my fiance? It will ruin my life!".

Instead, Mary's answer is "I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word." This answer is called her "fiat" by those who study such things. It is a profound statement, and marks the true birth of the holy catholic church. The very first human to accept Christ. A real human who submits herself to God and opens the door to salvation for all mankind. What a gal! What an attitude! More than a heroine. Do catholics pray to her? Technically, no. We believe that Jesus did conquer death when he rose from the grave. We believe this remarkable woman joined him in heaven. We ask her to pray for us to God because we realize that we still have sin within us and are unworthy to expect God to hear us alone. I often ask for people I think are holy to pray for me. Even though spiritual existence after death is beyond human understanding we know that it did happen because of the long string of people that have witnessed it and passed it down through the generations. I believe my father's spirit lives beyond the death of his body, and I ask him to pray for me, too.

After the Blessing

2007-03-25T06:01:00.000-07:00

Glorious mud, new life, and contentment

Ezekiel: "I will take your stony hearts from your bodies and give you natural hearts"

If we recognize the hand of God at work in our lives it is unnatural to have a stony heart. If we are aware of the life and love that flow from the Author of Life and the one who is love, how can we be "stony hearted?" But people do, nevertheless, become stony hearted. I wonder why that is so common? Is your heart "stony"? There is no higher calling for us than to glorify God, and there no way more pure to do that than to truly love with our hearts.

Today's gospel has the story of the woman caught in adultery that the crowd drags before Jesus and asks if she should be stoned under Moses' law. The stony-hearted crowd was standing around, ready to kill, but they had made Jesus her judge. Instead, he frustrates their effort by asking them to first judge themselves, saying "let the one without sin cast the first stone". Imagine the tension in the crowd as they waited for somebody else to make the first pitch, and the pressures as more and more turned away in admission of their guilt. Jesus does not condone adultery, which is clearly sin. But he does give this guilty woman a chance for salvation, telling her "go and sin no more". He separates the sin from the sinner, who he is about to suffer and die for.

This passage reminds me of the excerpt from Matthew where Jesus is talking about divorce. There he says Moses allowed divorce because the people were "stiff-necked", adding that it was not so from the beginning. With the New Testament comes the higher standards Jesus sets for all the commandments, without allowing for natural human frailty, but adding the power of the Messiah's saving grace.

Remember this story the next time you are ready to chunk a rock at someone who has behaved badly.

Another Rain!

2007-03-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

.7 inches today. Total for week: 6.43 The drought is taking a beating!

Psalm 33: (unofficial translation) Give thanks to the Lord upon the harp,
with a six string guitar play him songs.
Play him a song that is new,
play loudly, with all your skill.

The podcast should be up within a month...

Are we any better than those who came before us?

2007-03-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

This is Joseph Oliver Russell. He is my great-great grandfather, and was a man with LOTS of stories. He was a prospector par excellence, and successfully mined gold in Georgia, California and Colorado before the War of Northern Aggression. He co-founded the City of Denver. He was also a very talented solo violinist and entertained at dances and pioneer campfires in the days before radio or recordings. After the War he moved to Texas where he fathered 12 children and brought civilization to the wilderness. He was described by his grandchildren as a quiet, humble, hen-pecked man in his old age, and they had never dreamed of all his brave accomplishments.

At Mass today we hear the story of God's anger at the Israelites for making a golden calf to worship after he rescued them from slavery. Moses intercedes in their behalf. Then in the Gospel Jesus says that he does not testify in his own behalf, but says that John the Baptist did truly testify in his behalf. He says his acts testify in his behalf and in fact are the testimony of his Father. The Jews do not recognise the Lord, so they will be accused by Moses for their failure to do so, since Moses is the one in which they trust.

Aren't we like the Jews? We turn away from God and his ways at every opportunity, even though his glory shines throughout his creation. It is really a good thing that we have the living Christ to intercede in our behalf before the Father. He knows well of human frailty, since he was one of us. Ask for God's grace when you go to examine your conscience. Find the truth about your own sinfullness, and offer yourself to divine mercy. Be silent and listen for the Lord. "It is in silence that he instructs the mind and instills compunction and remorse, softening the heart with tears, shedding his light, inflaming us with his love: and in silence he refreshes us and inebriates the listener with the wine of his love." Father John Justus Lanberg, a 16th century monk.

I hope only that my acts and accomplishments can vaguely measure up in theory to those of the good men and women who came before me. Pay close attention in your moments of silence. Since it is Jesus in whom we trust, he will be the very one who condemns us if we proudly refuse to acknowledge and repent of our own faults.

Rain!

2007-03-20T17:58:00.000-07:00

About 5 inches in one day. What a blessing indeed. The first rain over 4 tenths since last July. The ponds are full, the ground is soaked, and just in time for spring! Hooray for God!

Wearing the Green

2007-03-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

Replacement heifers wearing the green.

We all know that anybody of Irish decent is supposed to wear green on St. Patrick's Day. These heifers are black hided but are "wearing the green" in the form of body fat from eating the lush new growth on the Pearson bottom. We planted rye and clover into the brome grass last fall, but the drought had kept it from emerging until this week.

Today is St. Joseph's feast day. A just man. He did a really good job of doing his best in difficult situations.

Saint Patrick's Day

2007-03-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

From today's Magnificat:
It is always tempting to take credit for the gifts of grace and to lay the blame elsewhere for our faults. If we do not claim responsibility for the choices that are truly ours, neither can we ask for or accept forgiveness. Too heavy for us, our offenses; too heavy not to allow the Lord to wipe them away.

Todays gospel is about the Pharisee and the tax collector in the temple. The humble heart came away justified.

From Hosea: Come, let us return to the Lord, it is he who has rent us, but he will heal us; he has struck us, but he will bind our wounds. He will revive us after 2 days. On the third day he will raise us up. He will come to us like the rain, like sping rain that waters the earth.

The forecast in Oklahoma is for rain all next week. Praise the Lord for blessing the earth! Easter time is coming!

A New Dawn

2007-03-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

Hosea: I will heal their defection. I will love them freely.

The quote above is from the end of the story of Hosea, and is the promise that God's love is not lost to his people in spite of their having turned from him. The rest of the story is about Hosea's marriage (at God's direction) to an unfaithful woman, and the frustration she encounters from her unfaithfulness. After a difficult time for the woman and an embarrassing time for Hosea God directs Hosea to go and take her back. He does so, and they spend another period of time in abstinence. The story doesn't really deliver the happy ending of a fruitful and faithful domestic life for the couple, but does hint that that is the promise for the future. The woman decides she was happier with her husband and the husband loves the wife in spite of her infidelity. The story compares Hosea's marriage to God's relationship with his chosen people. He gets angry with their bad behavior, and they suffer consequences, but he still loves them freely after they repent and humble themselves.

March on the Prarie

2007-03-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

In Mid-March every year many ranchers burn their old grass. They do this to stimulate new growth and "clean up" last year's grass so that every bite an animal takes is all green. The result is "stronger" grass for the summer. It only works when it rains, though. This year again I will not burn anything due to the drought. I'd rather have more grass than stronger grass.

This is the most dreadful time of year for the animals. They have been through the ice and snow and the forage quality has dropped. Then along comes the rancher and burns up what was left. They are tired of fasting all lent, but now abstinence! Easter and Spring are almost here, if they can just hang on!

God Talks to Ranchers

2007-03-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

Moses: Take these words of mine into your heart and soul. Teach them to your children, speaking of them at home and abroad, whether you are busy or at rest. Write them on your doorpost and gate, so that as long as the heavens are above the earth, you and your children may live on in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers he would give them.

I hope that today Moses would include "on your blog" with your doorpost and gate as places to write the Word. There is something reassuring about consistency of place. The ranching families strive to pass on the very same land that they have managed to their children, and hope to instill the love of the land in their children so that the legacy of being in their place is handed down for many generations. So it is that the descendants of feudal Lords in Scotland scattered out to America and Australia, and each hoped to build an "estate" like the one back home to pass on to their descendants. It is a dream that runs in their blood, and they only give it up with a great struggle. The land itself seems to call to me, reminding me of the vision, hopes, industry and dreams of the pioneers who came before me. And no, you don't have to have a deed to hear the call. Every time I approach the Rockies from the east I think of how my pioneer ancestors gazed upon the wonder and beauty and promise of that land as they toiled to get there without the benefit of a road, riding horses and wagons drawn by oxen. Of all the places in the world, Jerusalem is the on that seems to inspire the greatest importance of association. The promised land. The Temple. The crucifixion, the resurrection, the second coming. Something that keeps Islamics martyring themselves over the right to be there. I do think there is a feeling associated with places, especially natural places, but also buildings. Some may call it ghosts. I don't know. I have at times felt my ancestral spirits rejoicing with me as I enjoy the beauty that God creates in this place.

What Moses (if I may be so bold as to assume that he authored Deuteronomy, which we don't really scientifically know) was talking about was that the Word of God endures forever, and remains unchanged in all circumstances. People, being mere mortals, attach great significance to real estate and property. The spiritual reality of God's Word is more enduring, and a greater treasure.

Forgiveness

2007-03-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

Sirach: If he who is but flesh cherishes wrath, who will forgive his sins?

Psalm 25: To you , O Lord, I lift up my soul.
I trust you, do not let me be disappointed;
do not let my enemies triumph.
Those who hope in you shall not be disappointed,
but only those who wantonly break faith.
Teach me. Do not remember the sins of my youth.

Sirach: Forgive your neighbors injustice; then when you pray, your own sins will be forgiven. Should a man nourish anger against his fellows and expect healing from the Lord? Should a man refuse mercy to his fellows, yet seek pardon for his own sins?

Matt: Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?

Give up hatred. It hurts you more to carry it than it hurts your enemy when you express it. Try to understand. This is hard to do. It goes against the grain. Pray with the songwriter above (probably David) "teach me your paths, make me walk in your truth, and teach me: for you are God, my savior."

If it was easy, we wouldn't need to be saved. But as it is, that is the only thing worth pursuing into eternity. Now the sheep from February's posts are astonished. Here is the lead sheep (David?) crying out to the Shepard (that creature carrying that Rod) to teach him. Well, even us dumb wild sheep have to admit that the Rod seems to lead us to some mighty tasty forage and water. And it did a heck of a job whacking that critter that was trying to kill the sheep that stayed behind. But if I go as directed without being wild, I surrender my precious autonomy. Does that make me less than a sheep? Isn't my instinct to run from danger good? Maybe this David sheep is on to something after all? I am still just a dumb sheep, and will run from anything that scares me, but I think maybe I will hang around that rod, since it does seem to make for a better life.

Today's Gospel

2007-03-06T10:34:00.000-08:00

Mat: Jesus said "The scribes and Pharisees have taken their seat on the chair of Moses. Observe what they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on you, but they do not lift a finger to move them. All their works are performed to be seen. The greatest among you must be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; but whoever humbles himself will be exalted."

I have seen similar behavior to the scribes in today's Church. The pompous clergy who revel in the show of fine vestments, who take the seat of honor at banquets, who enjoy (too much) the respectful greeting of "Father" in the marketplace. Their position of authority appropriately deserves respect. However, in practice they judge and condemn much of their own flock, tying up heavy burdens for them and callously watching (and enjoying) the struggle that ensues. Some go even further, and dispense heretical spiritual advice in order to promote their public "holier than thou" image.

Then there are the true vocations. The men and women of the Church who have the love of God in their hearts for their flock. The ones who work to really analyze the spiritual struggles of those who turn to them and do everything in their power to help. The servants. The ones who spread God's love through their very being. These are the good confessors, that listen with compassion and wisdom and truly minister to the souls that turn to them in need.

Paul, James, and Luke

2007-03-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

Paul: It does not concern me in the least that I be judged by you or any human tribunal; I do not even pass judgement on myself; I am not conscious of anything against me, but I do not thereby stand acquitted; the one who judges me is the Lord. Therefor, do not make any judgement before the appointed time, until the Lord comes, for he will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will manifest the motives of our hearts, and then everyone will receive praise from God.

James: Who then are you to judge your neighbor?

Luke: Be merciful, just as your father is merciful

Judge Acts, Not Souls

2007-03-05T06:57:00.000-08:00

"God himself is the judge"
"judge not, lest ye be judged"

How do we apply these principles when in fact every decision we make requires some level of judgement? We decide our level of friendship with another person based in part on how we judge that person to be. We develop prejudices as we grow. We trusted people in the past who let us down, so we do not trust them again. For example, I have been robbed twice in my life. Both times it was a black man who did it. I trusted them, and was robbed. So my "prejudice" is not to trust strange black guys with valuables. Still, some of the finest people I have known were black. I would have missed out if I hadn't trusted them, but they showed themselves to be trustworthy.

Every man (or woman) is a child of God, and as such deserves some level of respect due to that dignity. There is within all men the capacity to good and to do evil. When you are deciding on your relationships you have to judge whether it is prudent to trust the other. My advice is to look at past acts of the person (to the extent you can). Words can be deceiving. Look objectively at what they have done. A history of lying, stealing, or cheating implies that they are likely to select that behavior again. Those acts (or any break from the Commandments) are the real red flags. We must judge behavior, but not the people. Christians are told to "turn the other cheek", to forgive "70 times seven times". That does not mean we should ignore or accept sinful behavior. Don't wear jewelry or carry a lot of money into a place where poor people who have few role models live or hang out. I don't know how I may have grown up in an impoverished neighborhood where law breaking is common and no one knows their father. It is not up to me to judge those robbers' souls. But it is up to me whether or not I go into a ghetto wearing or carrying something valuable. Those children of God are not beyond salvation.

Examine your conscience. There is sin within all of us. Christ died to save sinners. Admitting our own sins is very hard to do, but it helps us. Keep striving to choose to do good, but don't trust thieves or liars. Help each other down the path, but don't be a "mark".

Acknowledge Your Weakness

2007-02-28T03:25:00.000-08:00

Quick Quotes:
"God will not spurn a humble and contrite heart"

"Happy the man whose offense is forgiven, whose sin is remitted, in whose spirit is no guile. I kept it secret and my frame was wasted. I groaned all day long for God's hand was heavy upon me. But now I have acknowledged my sins, I confessed my sins to the Lord, and was forgiven. Let every good man pray to God in the time of need."

"Though I say to the wicked man that he shall surely die, if he turns away from his sin and does what is right and just, giving back debts, restoring stolen goods, living by the statutes that bring life, and doing no wrong, he shall surely live. None of the sins he committed shall be held against him."

Are you feeling spiritual pain? Take an honest look at your own behavior. Acknowlege to God everything that you have done wrong. Examine your conscience. Know that God loves you, and is calling you to be healed with the pain in your heart. Repent. Make things right. Strengthen your resolve to choose good every time. Go to confession, make it right.

Psalm 121:7

2007-02-24T17:54:00.000-08:00

May the Lord guard us from all evil. May he guard our lives.

Ash Wednesday

2007-02-21T04:18:00.000-08:00

"Dust Thou art, and to dust thou shall return"

"...ask the beasts to teach you...which does not know that the hand of God has done this? In His hand is the soul of every living thing, and the life breath of all mankind." (Job)

Have you ever noticed how the liturgical calendar follows the seasons? Today the "Christmas season" is over and Lent begins. Out here on the prarie the Christmas season has been one of ice storms and snow storms. We have had to chop ice and carry extra feed to the cattle daily. Wildlife becomes scarce (except for the giant herd of deer eating all the crops I planted for the cattle). The spring calving cows are growing their babies in utero, and the fall calvers are raising their very young calves in spite of the challenging weather. Now lent begins, and brings the spring babies. The fall calves are putting a huge drain on their mamas, who must make the milk in larger quantities at the same time that the grass has its lowest nutritional content of the year. All the cows will lose weight from now until Easter in spite of how much we feed them. A time of fasting has begun. All of creation waits in hopeful expectation for the rebirth of God's blessings that come with the new growth of spring. Meanwhile, back at the Church, all of the the faithful are called to fast and pray and focus on how our very beings would surely be lost if not for the rebirth of God's blessings that come with the risen Christ.

By Their Fruits Shall You Know Them

2007-02-19T07:52:00.000-08:00

If that tree in the yard produces apples, it is safe to call it an apple tree. There is a popular song that goes "and they'll know we are Christians by our love...". Perhaps Christ foresaw that Constantine would make Christianity the official religion of the empire? Perhaps he could envision the Church becoming financially and politically powerful. Whenever that happens in a human institution the potential for corruption exists. It doesn't matter what they say from the pulpit (although God still works through His Word, even when uttered by a sinful human). When choosing your friends, the people you can trust, you need to look more at the "fruits" they produce and less at the words they spout. Are the acts that they have performed loving acts? It is not up to us to judge their souls. We can get an insight into their reliability by witnessing whether their acts are loving.

An example from my own experience: The difference between the first and second Headmaster at Cistercian. The first, Damian, looked for the spark of intellect within each of the students, praised it, challenged it, fanned it as much as he could. He coined the motto "enkindle and enlighten", and that was precisely what he did. In spite of being in charge of the entire first ski camp (30 or so 4th and 5th graders for a week of skiing), he stayed up with me all night when I broke my leg, carrying me to the toilet, and comforting me in my suffering. He still had to run the camp the rest of the week. Then came the second, who dug up dirt on every one who may have been an obstacle to his grab for power. I witnessed his public abuse of some of the finest human beings I have ever known. The damage that he did was unnecessary and unloving. He did it to gain power without thought of the bodies he left in his wake.

Try to find people who have a track record of choosing good. You will know they are Godly by their love.

Decisions

2007-02-18T04:43:00.000-08:00

Quick Quotes:
"What is man, of what worth? ...the good, the evil in him, what are these?"
"we are created to glorify God"
(ask if you want source references)

When I received my first Holy Communion, I felt so pure of heart, close to God , comfortable, redeemed. Again, at Confirmation, especially the moment just before the bishop touched me, the remarkable sense of anticipation, spiritual openness, human dignity springing from a divine relationship. Then after much of the noise of life there was the moment of infilling of the Spirit associated with the Charismatic renewal. Glimpses of God being with me. Then came the reality bite of realising that I still had sin within me. The disappointment of knowing that in spite of being saved I was still wrestling with sin and evil, even right down inside where everything had been purified! Bummer!

My will was to be one in Spirit with God all the time, forever. But I still find sin popping up in me in spite of being saved. The word used for moving toward a sinless existence is sanctification. You see other people who appear to be holy, who you can presume to be sanctified. But then comes a scandal. It seems to me that sanctification is never attained in this wordly existence, but is constantly strived for. It is only the process of trying to know what is right or wrong and then wanting to choose what is right. Todays thought is to celebrate the fact that you do have within you the desire to do right. Life is full of decisions, good and evil are placed before us, but it is up to us to decide which we will grasp. Consider these words when you make your decisions today. Hooray for that small voice with us that says "we want to do good" in those moments of decision. Hooray for God!

Back to the pasture (previous posts): the sheep looks up and sees the herd moving, yet notices one not following. He is at his moment of decision. He cannot understand the consequences, but he has a choice that he will make. God's ways are beyond our intellects. Hooray for God!

Discipline, Discouragement, Faith and Hope

2007-02-16T06:00:00.000-08:00

The Lord says: My son, when I correct you, do not treat it lightly; but do not get discouraged. I train the ones I love, and punish those I acknowledge as sons.

Paul emphasizes that suffering is part of our training, and reasons that it will bear fruit in peace and goodness. Ig says that discouragement is never from God because it clouds faith and hope. He contends that God's love does not deal in punishment as human vengence does. Rather God is inflicting the pain (or at least allowing it to be inflicted) in order to bless us.

We sheep know that that Rod can really HURT! If we see it coming we are SO outta there! The wilder ones in our band of brothers eventually notice that there is a lead sheep who seems to understand more about that Rod than we do, and if we follow that lead sheep the dreaded Rod seems to not be whacking us as much. Eventually we are seeing the Rod, and if we move away it thankfully doesn't whack us at all. And YUM! today's forage sure hits the spot, and this flowing fresh water is exquisite! Lookey there, bro', that lead sheep is moving again! Sure enough, there is the Rod. And now the whole herd is moving! Well, almost the whole herd. That one over there is hiding so he can stay here, what are you going to do?

Muzzleing the Kitchen Madonna?

2007-02-12T12:14:00.000-08:00

"Who is trying to?" she asks. She made an offer, provided I refrain from posting about her. I agreed, provided she refrain from posting about me. She agreed, but reneged at closing. Apparently it is too much to be asked to refrain from making disparaging or defamatory communications. A reasonable person would expect more honorable behavior from a godless pagan. This is the woman I gave my heart to, that I trusted to take care of my children in the event of my death? The prayers we prayed, the scripture we studied, was all that just an act? I am at a complete loss at understanding how she could do the things she has done. Or say the things she has said. No remorse. No honor. No affection. Amazing. I expect it will get uglier still. It hurts enough to be unfairly defamed and disparaged. How much more to see someone you love so willfully betraying her faith and shredding her own soul!

If at all possible, let this cup pass me by. But not my will, but Thine be done.

Blessings and Suffering

2007-02-11T07:13:00.000-08:00

Out in nature it is easy for me to see the Hand of God at work. The miracle of life being represented in a new baby calf. How the cow, without education, understanding, or Le Maz classes, brings the baby into this world and instinctively comes to nurture it and protect it. The beauty of a frosty morning or a splendid sunset. The burst of renewed life in the Spring. So many signs all around us, all the time. Yet any creature unavoidably comes to know sufferring. The baby is hungry, which causes it to cry. The human body ages, which brings pain and dimenished capacity. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. Why does God allow it? The oldest book in the Bible (JOB) is about that question. The answer there seems to be: because. JOB suffers greatly, and complains and argues, but in the end accepts.

The Church says "offer suffering up". It unites us to Christ in a way that can be powerful and effective when combined with prayer. That old saying, that tradition, was largely glossed over in the euphoria of the Charismatic Renewal. But it comes crashing home when we get that chronic pain, or lose our vision, or are betrayed by those we love. St. Paul goes even further and tells us to rejoice over our sufferings. And I can see his point when we are made to suffer for Christ's sake. But do we often see our suffering as being in any way related to the Salvation saga?

Bad things do happen to good people. The answer seems to be: because. My response is that I rejoice over the goodness of God, I ask for something good to come from my sufferings, and I trust that all will be well in the grand scheme of things. Pain still hurts, and that is to be avoided at all costs. Reality is that suffering comes inevitably. It is only our response to it that we can control. Blessed be the Lord!

Thy Rod and Thy Staff they comfort me

2007-02-09T09:58:00.000-08:00

From the 23rd Psalm, the word "comfort" in this context is worth a remark. As a herdsman I can relate to the analogy of being God's sheep in His flock. Everyday the herdsman takes the flock to the pasture and the the water that they need to thrive. He keeps the predators away. Still, the rod is what the sheep fear. It is what he drives them with. Pokes them with to get their attention, whacks them across the back with to make them behave. The sheep don't know where they are going. The rod is the sign from the Shepard that a sheep needs to change his/her direction for their own good. An animal first introduced to the herd first learns that the rod must be respected or it will cause problems. Before a sheep could be comforted by such an instrument it has to come to realize that the Shepard knows what He is doing and must be obeyed, especially when sheep's own opinion is to go in a different direction.

Do you recognize the rod of the good Shepard in your life? Does it comfort you?

I Wonder

2007-02-08T05:08:00.000-08:00

I wonder about a lot of things, and don't know if there will ever be definite answers. Certainty is certainly elusive. I do know that we only have so much time to play around with it, and then we are out of time. Life seems to be a series of revelations from God, each unexpected but each profound. I do know that Love is my highest calling, but also the one that carries the highest potential for devastation. Is there really any purpose for suffering? Why can't we just enjoy life?