Deacon Jim on Family

Below is an excerpt from Deacon Jim Breazile's e-mail newsletter. The Deacon is a brilliant man with a sincere vocation and worth listening to.
SPIRITUALITY 101
SPIRITUAL REFLECTION- 232
Rev. Dcn. Jim Breazile OCDS

According to an oriental legend, on the site where Jerusalem was built lived two brothers, one with many children and the other was single and lived alone. Once they gathered their harvest and put the wheat in two piles. One night the single brother thought, “My brother has a large family and needs more wheat than I do; I will put some of my sheaves on his pile.” About an hour later the married brother woke up and thought, “My brother lives alone and doesn’t have anyone to help him in his life. I must do something for him. Taking some of the sheaves from his pile he carried them to that of his brother. Next morning they were both surprised to see that each of the piles remained the same as when they left them the night before.

Family unity is not a relationship that is planned by its members. It is however a seeming necessity of duty of importance to our lives. Family unity is a special bond between members that comes from without. It is a special grace of the Sacrament of matrimony. Because of its recognized importance to unity in society, disunity among family members is considered a seriously sinful state. Family disunity, like all sin, induces a disturbance within family members that reverberates to the world in which we live.

CELEBRATION - Growth in love- 4th stage
MEDITATION- SACRAMENTS-77-MATRIMONY 7

Unity between members of families is a worldly expression of the unity Christ wishes in his Church. In its teachings regarding family unity the Church does not refer to the fulfillment of a commandment or a civil law. The law that each family member recognizes in their hearts is similar to that of the Communist Manifesto which states; “From each in accord with their means to each in accord with their needs.” It is a law that comes from God ordained to the nature of the human family. It is easily recognized that within a family of 5, there are 5 individual personalities with different aims in life and differing requirements for their personal well being. Yet in this family of five there is a unity of heart that each person recognizes as calling them to the obedience of love.

Familial love provides the means by which the dignity of each member can be elevated simply by assisting them to find the true treasure of familial love as sons and daughters of the Lord. Parents represent a visible sign of Gods love. As this love becomes an integral part of family life, it becomes familiar to each child. In this way every family receives its name (Eph 3:15), which is ordained by God. This family name, which scripture indicates extends to families both in heaven and on earth, represents a relationship with God Himself, the source of life and love. Family unity represents a cooperation in God’s salvific mission on earth. Through this cooperation the family unity in love becomes a special form of incarnation within the family members as the central purpose of the Church.

The role of the family in the Church was outlined by Pope John Paul II in his Apostolic Exhortation on the family. In article 17, he writes, “The family finds in the plan of God the Creator and Redeemer not only its identity, what it is, but also its mission, what it can and should do. In this expression he calls all families to ‘become what you are’.” It is necessary therefore to establish as best we can, a clear basic definition of family. It is clear that God establishes the family as a small community of love and unity for a special purpose in his establishment of his Kingdom on earth. The Pope emphasizes that “the essential identity of what the family is can best described as love.”

This definition extends beyond a concept that is limited to unity and mutual love between family members, but must incorporate these characteristics into a larger context. The definition of family as love leads us to the first encyclical letter of Pope Benedict XVI entitled “God is Love.” It is clear that if God is love and family is love that the definition of family takes on more than just a similarity to God, but a means by which God is present on earth. The definition of family as love stretches our imagination and for this reason Paul gives us an indication of how the unity and love within family reveals the mystery of the relationship of Christ to his Church. (Eph. 5:32)